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Stop Negotiating.
Say the word "negotiation" and most people cringe
or make a face that screams EXHAUSTION. Why? My clients and
colleagues tell me they feel threatened by the possibility
that they'll come up short. Lack and limitation are universal
demons for most of us and, over time, we've all learned that
we rarely get ALL that we want. Or think we want. So we have
learned to distrust each other. We guess at what others REALLY
intend instead of asking. And we hide our own true intentions.
It is no wonder that situations that seem to require negotiation
stir up our fears and make us feel enormously vulnerable.
What's most dissatisfying is that, more often than most of
us like to admit it, we come out of these situations feeling
like failures.
Start Speaking with Intention.
So to me, clarity AND integrity of up front communication
between two parties beats negotiation any day. That's why
I recommend a different communication strategy. I recommend
entering a conversation of clear intention that gets both
parties on the same page BEFORE an action is taken. I am not
trying to be provocative here. I am simply stating that if
you want your business to grow, you need to be respected as
a good listener, honest communicator, great coordinator and
exceptional product or service craftsperson. If you are aware
of Fernando Flores' Atom of Work theory, you'll know what
I mean. And you'll appreciate its POWER.
To demonstrate the power of this strategy, I let my executive
coaching clients and my communication and selling workshop
participants experience it.
Flores' Atom of Work: Request --> Clarify -> Promise
-> Perform -> Assess.
For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Flores' theory, let me
explain it. Let's take a customer who needs something done
by a business owner. (The process can also begin by a business
owner making an offer to a customer, but our explanation will
describe what happens when a request is made.)
1. CUSTOMER MAKES REQUEST. The customer makes a request
of the business owner.
2. BOTH PARTIES CLARIFY REQUEST CRITERIA FOR SATISFACTION.
The business owner and customer each ask clarifying questions
to fully disclose the customer's entire satisfaction criteria
- the results that need to be produced by the business owner
and measures that will be used by the customer to value the
level of satisfaction once the requested action is completed.
Everything that needs to be discussed gets discussed at this
point: What needs to be done? By when? How much? Does the
business owner have the skills and knowledge to complete this
request? Does the business owner have the capacity to complete
this request? What else needs to be discussed that may seem
obvious to the customer about this request but may be unknown
to the business owner? Object here is to ASSUME NOTHING and
find out what you don't know.
This is the stage that should NEVER be abbreviated.
This is where the integrity of both parties surfaces and becomes
an integral part of their intentions. Each party must ask
themselves if they are TRULY being honest about what they
are committing to do. If not, then they need to clarify their
intentions.
3. BUSINESS OWNER PROMISES TO DO IT. Once the business
owner and customer feel they can agree on all conditions of
satisfaction (because both parties are committed to acting
as agreed), then, AND only then, does the business owner promise
to take action as agreed and be completely accountable for
the deliverable. If both parties can't commit to acting as
agreed, then the business owner says no to the request or
continues to seek clarity around conditions of satisfaction.
4. BUSINESS OWNER PERFORMS ACTION. The business owner
then actually performs what she promised to do when she promised
to do it.
5. CUSTOMER ASSESSES BUSINESS OWNER'S PERFORMANCE.
The business owner asks the customer for his or her assessment
of satisfaction. When both agree that the business owner's
action is completed to the customer's satisfaction, then the
business owner declares that she has completed her original
promise and another request can be made.
That's what it TRULY means to keep a promise. A request or
offer is made. It gets discussed and accepted. A promised
action is purposefully completed to the satisfaction of requester.
Act as You Intend and Build Your Business.
Acting with true intention builds trust, which builds confidence,
which builds value, which business. Its power is enormous.
It shows you deeply care about your work and your customers.
Think about it. Who do YOU trust? What is present in the people
you trust? What is your typical assessment of their performance?
What is missing in those you don't trust?
Don't cheapen your talk with negotiation. Speak with intention.
Make promises you CAN fulfill. Act with commitment and purpose.
And watch your business grow!
®2002 Betsey Dalbeck, Fresh Tracks,
Inc. All rights reserved.
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